Top 10 Stupid college team names
As promised, here is my list of the Top 10 stupid college team names. REMEMBER: this has nothing to do with the mascots - I’ll deal with stupid mascots a bit later on.
#1 - North Texas Mean Green - usually, smart colleges will chose a mascot that is a NOUN…you know, a person place or thing. But not North Texas - they chose an adjective for their mascot. I would hate to be a student in their English department. Consolation #1a award goes to Cornell Big Red. Nouns, people…its all about the nouns.
#2 - Virginia Tech Hokies - utterly ridiculous. I’m not sure which is worse - the name “Hokies” or Va Tech’s original team name - the Fighting Gobblers. I think it is a toss-up.
#3 - Toledo Rockets - often times (see #9), a school’s mascot is reflective of a state’s history or culture. The Toledo Rockets? I had no idea there were so many launch pads in Ohio.
#4 - TCU Horned Frogs - what is the only thing worse than a frog as a team mascot? A horned frog.
#5 - Rice Owls, Temple Owls, Florida Atlantic Owls - you want a silent, nocturnal bird as your mascot? Alrighty then…
#6 - Minnesota Golden Gophers - the only cool gopher in the history of mankind is the gopher in Caddyshack. Other than that, they are lame. Definitely not mascot-worthy.
#7 - Oregon Ducks - Why didn’t Oregon choose something manly from the Northwest culture for their mascot, like the Lumberjacks? You have the Ducks and the Beavers…must be an Oregon thing.
#8 - Marshall Thundering Herd - I like the “Thundering” part of the name, but “Herd”? It is a Thundering Herd of what, exactly? Can you be more specific?
#9 - Tennessee Volunteers - yes, I know Tennessee is the Volunteer State. Yes, I know that Volunteers play an important part in their state history (the nickname “The Volunteer State” originated during the War of 1812 when thousands of Tennesseans enlisted in response to Governor Blount’s call for volunteers). I’m not diminishing that in any way. I just think it isn’t a good nickname for a sports team. I’ve never liked it.
#10 - Idaho Vandals - to my knowledge, there is absolutely nothing positive, uplifting or inspiration that comes from the word “vandal”. Am I wrong?
Tags: florida atlantic owls, idaho vandals, marshall thundering herd, minnesota golden gophers, north texas mean green, oregon ducks, rice owls, TCU horned frogs, temple owls, Tennessee-Volunteers, toledo rockets, virginia tech hokiesRelated Stories
POSTED IN: College Basketball
15 opinions for Top 10 Stupid college team names
Wah
Feb 5, 2008 at 11:37 pm
What about the Presbyterian Blue Hose?
nate
Feb 6, 2008 at 12:03 am
The Stanford Cardinal
Rich Carlson
Feb 6, 2008 at 12:14 am
Just wait - I’ll get to the Cardinal when I talk about Stupid mascots.
joel
Feb 6, 2008 at 12:21 am
hawaii rainbow warriors and Oregon State Beavers ftw.
anaonymous
Feb 6, 2008 at 12:23 am
Cornell Red didn’t make the list?
Rich Carlson
Feb 6, 2008 at 12:26 am
AAAHHH! How did I miss Cornell? Time to make a minor adjustment to my list. Thanks for the catch.
Andrew
Feb 6, 2008 at 3:43 am
Ohio State is near and dear to my heart. But, if you think about it… the Buckeyes?
It’s like the Volunteers. Ohio is the Buckeye State and the state tree is the buckeye.
Fact of the matter… a buckeye is a tree that produces a distinctive nut. Buckeyes are also a very delicious chocolate/peanut butter candy that look similar to the nut.
Does that strike fear in your heart?
Rich Carlson
Feb 6, 2008 at 9:55 am
To be honest, the name “Buckeye” is kind of cool. Forget that it is a tree - the name itself is kind of cool. I guess it is cooler if you know it isn’t a tree ;-)
To this day, I still miss Keith Jackson uttering the words “Ohio State Buckeyes and the Michigan Wolverines” on Saturday afternoons.
I still think the Vols should have a person raising their hand to volunteer for something as their mascot. Perhaps Arnold Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter.
speed
Feb 6, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Warren Wilson College in Asheville, NC is also the fighting Owls. There was a brief student movement to get the mascot changed to the tardigrades, a small invertebrate animal
Scott
Feb 26, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Actually Vandals is in reference to “the” Vandals, the Germanic tribe that populated a large part of Europe and North Africa well before the Vikings. In that respect, the mascot Vandals, is no different than the Vikings, the Trojans, the Warriors, or any other historical mascot based on a conquering people. The term vandal (with out a capital letter) is only negative because the Vandals were said to leave all the beautiful things of Rome in ruins when they sacked the city in 455. That would make them different because most groups of people (like the Romans) just stole the stuff for themselves. That is the reason for the negative connotation. So they are the Idaho Conquering Peoples of Europe and Africa.
Scott
Feb 26, 2008 at 3:26 pm
By the way, what about the Akron Zips?
ed
Mar 2, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I hate names that represent ferocity or conquerors unless there is a real connection to the team. Vikings is an example of an appropriate use because Minnesota was settled by the descendants thereof. Spartans and Trojans are examples of lack of imagination and lameness. Stanford Cardinal is lame and unimaginative. I like Golden Gophers, Horned Frogs, and Buckeyes. One of the worst, most incongruous is the San Francisco State Gators.
Michael
Mar 23, 2008 at 7:36 pm
What about the U-C Irvine Anteaters?!
Wildcat11
Mar 30, 2008 at 10:32 pm
What about KU’s funny looking bird? possibly something for the worst Mascots list
jimbilia
May 9, 2008 at 8:19 am
why didnt u do Saint Francis Red Flash
they are the stupedist team name in the word
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